Babies Cry: Why and How to Comfort Your Baby

One of the first lessons new parents learn is that babies cry a lot. By the time babies are one month old, it’s common for them to cry for two or more hours each day. While this can feel overwhelming, it’s completely normal. As your baby grows, typically between two to four months old, the amount of crying usually decreases.

Although it can be exhausting, your baby’s cries are their primary form of communication. Understanding and responding to their needs is crucial for their development and your bond with them. In this blog, we’ll explore why babies cry, help you understand their cries, and practical tips to soothe them. Let’s dive in!

Why Is My Baby Crying?

Crying is your baby’s primary way of communicating. It’s their way of telling you they need something. Through their cries, they communicate their needs, discomfort, and emotions. Research shows that newborns cry an average of 2-3 hours per day, with the amount peaking at around 6-8 weeks before gradually decreasing. Instead of focusing solely on stopping the tears, try to figure out what’s causing them. Ask yourself:

• When was the last time they ate or slept?

• Are they wearing too much or too little clothing?

• Could they be uncomfortable or in pain?

• Crying can sometimes be caused by trapped gas, which can be relieved through proper baby burping techniques.

The sooner you identify the cause, the sooner you can soothe your baby. Here are some common reasons babies cry:

• Hunger: The most common reason babies cry is hunger. Babies have small stomachs and need to eat frequently.

• Tiredness: Overstimulation or exhaustion can lead to tears.

• Discomfort: A wet or dirty diaper, gas, or feeling too hot or cold can make them fussy.

• Need for Attention: Sometimes, babies just want to be held and comforted.

• Illness or Pain: If your baby is unwell or in pain, crying is their way of letting you know.

Decoding Your Baby’s Cries

Did you know? By around four months, your baby’s cries will start to sound different depending on their needs. A hungry cry may sound different from a tired or pained cry.

While all baby cries might sound similar to inexperienced ears, parents often develop the ability to distinguish between different types of cries. Research by Dr. Dunstan identified five basic sounds that babies make before they start crying in earnest:

• “Neh” – hunger cry (tongue pushed up on roof of mouth)

• “Eh” – upper wind (like a burp) needs to be released

• “Eairh” – lower gas pain

• “Heh” – discomfort (too hot/cold, diaper needs changing)

• “Owh” – tiredness

While not all babies follow this exact pattern, paying close attention to the sounds your baby makes can help you respond more effectively to their needs.

What Is Colic?

If your baby cries excessively—more than three hours a day, three days a week for at least one week—they might have colic. Colic is common in newborns and usually starts when a baby is a few weeks old. While the exact cause is unknown, it’s temporary and typically resolves by six months.

Dealing with colic can be stressful for parents, but remember, it’s not your fault, and it will pass. If you’re concerned about your baby’s crying or finding it hard to cope, reach out to your healthcare provider for support.

What Should I Do If My Baby Cries at Night?

Newborns need constant care, even at night. Ignoring their cries can make them feel insecure and unheard. Responding to their needs helps them feel loved and safe.

It’s important to remember that babies under four months old aren’t capable of learning routines. Instead, focus on responding to their cues for feeding, comfort, and care. This helps reduce crying and builds trust between you and your baby.

How Can I Calm My Baby?

When your baby starts crying, try these soothing techniques:

1. Check for Basic Needs:

• Feed them if they’re hungry.

• Change their diaper if it’s wet or dirty.

2. Comfort Them:

• Hold your baby close to your chest or shoulder.

• Engage in skin-to-skin contact by placing them on your bare chest.

• Rock them gently or take them for a walk.

3. Create a Calm Environment:

• Sing or talk to them softly.

• Play gentle music or white noise.

• Stroke their back rhythmically while holding them.

Even if your baby doesn’t stop crying immediately, holding them helps them feel secure and loved.

Effective Ways to Comfort Your Crying Baby

The 5 S’s Method Pediatrician Dr. Harvey Karp developed the highly effective “5 S’s” method for soothing babies:

1. Swaddle

Swaddling recreates the secure feeling of the womb. Wrap your baby snugly in a thin blanket with arms at sides. Make sure the swaddle isn’t too tight around the hips and allows some leg movement to prevent hip dysplasia.

2. Side or Stomach Position

Hold your baby on their side or stomach while you’re comforting them. This position helps control the Moro (startle) reflex that can wake babies up. Remember: this position is only for when your baby is awake and being supervised. Always place babies on their backs for sleep.

3. Shush

White noise that mimics the sounds in the womb can be remarkably calming. A steady “shhhh” sound near your baby’s ear (about as loud as their crying), a white noise machine, or even the sound of running water can help.

4. Swing

Gentle, rhythmic motion calms babies. Small movements (about one inch back and forth) support your baby’s head and neck. You can rock them in your arms, use an infant swing, or even take them for a car ride.

5. Suck

Sucking has powerful calming effects on babies. Offer a pacifier, clean finger, or opportunity to breastfeed if you’re nursing.

How Can I Stay Calm When My Baby Cries?

Dealing with a crying baby can be incredibly stressful, especially if you’re sleep-deprived. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed, but staying calm is essential. Babies can sense your tension, which might make them cry more.

If you’ve tried everything and your baby is still crying, it’s okay to take a break. Place your baby in a safe space, like their crib, and step away for 5-10 minutes to regroup. Use this time to:

• Listen to calming music.

• Have a cup of tea.

• Call a friend or family member for support.

• Practice deep breathing or meditation.

Important: Never shake, hit, or shout at your baby. If you’re feeling extremely frustrated, seek help from a trusted caregiver or healthcare provider.

Seeking Support

Parenting is challenging, and it’s okay to ask for help. Here are some ways to find support:

• Talk to Other Parents: Share experiences and learn from others who’ve been in your shoes.

• Join Parent Groups: Many communities offer parent support programs or counseling services.

• Consult Your Healthcare Provider: They can provide advice and reassurance.

Remember, you’re not alone. Connecting with others can help you feel more confident and less isolated.

Final Thoughts

Crying is a natural part of your baby’s development and their way of communicating with you. While it can be exhausting, understanding the reasons behind their tears and responding with care helps build a strong bond between you and your baby. By staying calm, seeking support, and trying different soothing techniques, you’ll navigate this challenging phase with confidence. Remember, this stage is temporary, and as your baby grows, the crying will decrease.

As you navigate these early months, be kind to yourself. You’re doing important work, and with each passing day, both you and your baby are learning and growing together.