Navigating Parenthood in the Digital Age: A Guide to Sharenting

Parenthood in the digital era is very challenging. As social media, smartphones, and other technologies advance at a breakneck pace, they seem to outgrow our children. Parents often share photos, videos and moments of their children online and sometimes include family and friends in their joys too. Hence, it is very crucial to recognize the inherent risks of this practice, commonly known as “sharenting.” While sharenting can be a wonderful way to document and share your child’s growth, it also comes with its own set of challenges and risks.

Understanding Sharenting

Sharenting involves parents discussing their children beyond the family circle—whether it’s a social media post, a blog entry, or a video shared via messaging platforms like WhatsApp, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok. Sharenting expert Stacey Steinberg emphasizes, “When we share about our children online without involving them in that decision-making process, we miss a valuable opportunity to teach and model consent.”

“Our kids are the first generation to grow up shared. We are the first generation of parents to raise kids alongside social media, and that’s difficult.”

Key Considerations for Parents

Developing healthy digital habits as a family includes being thoughtful about what we share online about our children. There are two major concerns regarding sharing children’s content online:

1. Tangible Harm: Children can be targeted by malicious individuals due to online content. In some regions, data brokers create digital profiles of children, predicting their future behaviors and health issues based on shared information. Additionally, fake images and memes pose significant risks, potentially depicting children in harmful ways. Although currently not widespread, the future, particularly with advancements in AI, is uncertain.

2. Modeling Consent and Privacy: Excluding children from decisions about sharing their images online misses a vital opportunity to teach them about consent and privacy. As they grow and use social media themselves, it’s essential they respect the privacy of others, including their peers and parents.

3. Digital Identity and Reputation: The content shared by parents can contribute to a child’s digital identity and reputation. In some cases, this can have positive effects, such as showcasing a child’s talents and achievements. However, it can also have negative consequences if the content is perceived in a way that the child does not approve of. For example, a funny or embarrassing photo shared by a parent may be seen by peers or future employers, potentially leading to teasing or judgment.

Children’s Perspectives on Sharenting

Autonomy is vital at any age. Children value their individuality and personal image, whether choosing their clothes or deciding whether to be photographed. Respecting these preferences is crucial, as children’s feelings are significant and deserve validation. Young children cannot give informed consent, so parents must consider how they might feel about shared content.

Moreover, immediate sharing can distort childhood memories, overshadowing personal experiences with digital representations. It is very essential for parents to be present with their children, allowing them to form genuine memories independent of digital documentation.

Also read about Creating Healthy Digital Habits at Home: A Parenting Guide

Protecting Children’s Privacy

To safeguard children’s privacy online, parents should avoid sharing overly personal or embarrassing content. Understanding a child’s perspective is crucial. Parents should also refrain from posting pictures of their children in any state of undress, as these can be misused by ill-intentioned individuals.

Engaging children in discussions about what to share can also be beneficial. Just as in solving a math problem, showing the process is important. This approach helps children understand the considerations behind sharing decisions.

However, parents cannot bear this responsibility alone. Policymakers and digital platforms must create safer environments for families. Rapid technological changes make it unreasonable to expect parents to fully grasp these complexities.

Communicating Sharing Preferences

Discussing sharing preferences with friends and family is essential. Honest conversations can ensure your wishes are respected. For schools and organizations, inquire about social media policies. If none exist, collaborate to establish guidelines, acknowledging that other parents may share similar concerns.

Tips for Responsible Sharenting

Given the potential risks and benefits of sharenting, it’s important for parents to approach it thoughtfully and responsibly. Here are some tips to help you navigate sharenting in a way that protects your child’s privacy and well-being while still enjoying the benefits of sharing.

1. Think Before You Post Before sharing any content about your child, take a moment to consider the potential long-term implications. Ask yourself whether the content could be embarrassing or harmful to your child in the future. If you’re unsure, it’s better to err on the side of caution and refrain from sharing.

2. Respect Your Child’s Privacy As your child grows older, it’s important to respect their privacy and autonomy. Involve them in decisions about what content is shared online, and be mindful of their feelings and preferences. If your child expresses discomfort with a particular post, be willing to remove it.

3. Limit Personal Information Avoid sharing sensitive personal information about your child, such as their full name, date of birth, address, or school. This information can be used by malicious actors and poses a safety risk. Instead, use nicknames or initials to protect your child’s identity.

4. Adjust Privacy Settings Take advantage of privacy settings on social media platforms to control who can see your posts. Consider creating a private group or album for close family and friends, rather than sharing content publicly. This allows you to share moments with loved ones while minimizing the risk of overexposure.

5. Be Mindful of Frequency While it’s tempting to share every cute moment, be mindful of the frequency of your posts. Overposting can lead to overexposure and may contribute to a sense of pressure or burnout for both you and your child. Focus on sharing meaningful moments rather than every little detail.

6. Educate Yourself and Your Child Stay informed about the potential risks and best practices for sharenting. Educate yourself about online privacy and security, and teach your child about the importance of protecting their personal information online. As your child grows older, involve them in conversations about digital footprints and online reputation.

7. Consider Alternative Ways to Share If you’re concerned about the risks of sharenting, consider alternative ways to document and share your child’s milestones. For example, you could create a private photo album or scrapbook that is only accessible to close family and friends. This allows you to preserve memories without exposing your child to the potential risks of social media.

Rethinking Past Shares

If you’ve shared extensively about your children and are reconsidering, take a deep breath. Most oversharing stems from a lack of awareness about digital footprints. Start by reviewing and possibly deleting past posts. Involve children around 9-10 years old in this process, teaching them the importance of managing their digital presence. Regularly assess and clean up shared content to stay relevant and respectful of your child’s evolving identity.

Conclusion

Our children are the first generation growing up in the shared digital landscape. As the first generation of parents navigating this terrain, the journey is challenging but manageable with thoughtful and informed approaches.